Talk to ME NICE! - Sincerely ME ✨♡

Literally over a year since I posted on here and it feels very... interesting to be back. I say interesting because I feel so different from who I was when I started this blog and different from the person that was typing behind this keyboard over a year ago. I feel I'm moving into a space of getting to know me and accepting me. I've been so critical over myself this year and we're barely out of the second month lol. I've gained weight and feel uncomfortable with the change to my body because I've always been a size small up until the age 25, I'll be 27 this year and I promise I don't even have a clue what adulting really looks like, I feel overwhelmed trying to obtain everything that is said you need to have by 27 : a job, an apartment, big girl bills, degrees upon degrees, a career. I'm far from my teenage and early 20s of "its only my 3rd day out here idk" but I'm not entirely in the late 20s of "I know what I gotta do, I know who I am and where I'm headed"; I'm more-so in the space of "I kinda know who I am but its low-key like my 10thish day out here so idk but I'm headed somewhere" lol. I noticed I spoke about myself so negatively, but not wanting to accept the voice of which it was coming from. Claiming the voice was my mother because she's critical of me and never understands, to saying it's the voice of society with the weight and pressure it enforces on you the minute you are labeled an adult, or blaming the voice on years of rejection and hurt experienced from childhood into womanhood. All of those things may play a factor of how the voice sounds but it was not the voice, the voice was me. I felt this way about myself, I was putting myself down and being so critical of myself because I did not see value in myself unless ALL needs were met. If I could be the perfect daughter for my mother, check, if I could be at the level society claims a 27 year old should be at, check, if I could heal every wrong doing done and obtain some level of emotional compensation for it, check, check and check. But the thing was my voice was critical because of all I was trying to live up to instead of accepting myself and what I came with on top of realizing change is always inevitable. I started off this post saying that I'm not the same person I was a year ago...do you know how freeing and amazing that feels to say? My evolution continues even when I am opposed to it. So regardless of where I am now and how uncertain it feels it will not be where I'm going to be in the future. I shouldn't be so critical of myself. If you are reading this you shouldn't be so critical of yourself. Speaking love into you and giving yourself grace within this life is sooo important. If you know at the very least you wanna go somewhere, you have dreams, you have goals, you have vision...trust you will make it there. Talking to yourself nasty, or putting yourself down for not being where you want to be at the moment will only do you harm and leave you in a cycle of self pity, hostility and mental anguish. Break your cycle so a better one can begin.

Till next time

-Ify🤍