Growing Pains 😢

Hey there, I’m back again. Lol, it seems I have a lot to talk about so early in the morning. Well truthfully speaking there’s a lot on my mind this morning. I’ve had to do a lot of growing up in the past year, and I’ve had to let go of a lot of things just in the past few months. When I was younger I would get these aches and pains in my body and it would be so agonizing, my body was hot, even though the pain would mainly happen in my legs. My mom would tell me that they were just growing pains and that I’d stop having them once I finished growing. I’m 25 now as you guys know so I’ve officially stopped growing physically (I’m 5’8in) but the growing pains I experience now are completely different from the ones before even though they hurt the same. The growing pains you experience when you start entering the world as an adult is something I never knew could/will happen. You lose friends, you grow out of things you thought you’d love forever, you lose people, whether by death or by separation, you can lose yourself, you relearn yourself, things are more permanent, reality feels less real & more real at the same time, you’re aware of your existence & that awareness makes you feel fragile. There are so many things I wasn’t prepared for that happen when you’re growing up & the main thing is, while those things are happening, life will continue to happen, and you continue to exist. As long as you have air in your lungs and a beating heart, life will continue to move on and so will you; even when shit is messed up and the world feels so big & you don’t know where to turn, life will always go on. It takes a minute to gain some comfort in knowing that but once you do there’s some peace that it brings. You’ll be okay during your growing pains just like you were when you were a kid. Adult growing pains are something a little more permanent but there isn’t always pain , there’s beauty and love that happens too. And just like when your mom would give you medicine to help with the pain, there are things in life that can help too, like this journal for example. This journal is helping me get through my adult growing pains; writing is one form I choose to express my feelings and help me during the times I’m feeling low or high. I hope my experiences and willingness to open & share my life can help someone else going through their growing pains too. I’m still growing and I’m still learning and everything isn’t easy, but I’m doing the best I can & that’s all you really can do.