Days like this 😔

I struggle with hope sometimes. On other days it is just easier to lay in bed and watch the world pass me by. Like today, today feels like I should just have another woe is me moment & just cry & stay in my room. I'm tired of being tired, and holding myself up has gotten easier but I can still feel the weight of it all. I worry about every single detail in my life that is not where I need it to be currently. Constantly trying to figure out where life is going if it is even going anywhere. I am grateful for the things I have, & I know I'll look back at these moments and be astonished about how far I've come, but I have to be real when I say I do want more. It's not just the things I want, it's so much deeper than that. I want stability, belonging, comfortability in the unknown, genuine love (romantic & platonic), security in self, grounding, and peace. It feels like because I don't have those things or that I have the bare minimum of them, it will never come. I've spent the majority of my life wanting them but not necessarily sure how to put words into exactly what I wanted until now. I'm just tired of hoping and wishing and I just want it to be here. I understand things come in divine timing, and the magnitude of what I want does require patience to come to fruition, I just... I don't know... it's just days like this that I feel will it ever happen. I know it will happen for me, today is just one of those days.

Take Care!

-Ify